BE STILL AND KNOW
Posted 2nd June 2014 ~ White Cloud and Finding My Son... Sharon Sananda Kumara
Here is some writing on my connection with WHITE CLOUD
as well as how he helped me find my birth son. I really don't know how to start, so I guess I'll start with what was going on in my life when White Cloud came back into my life....
At this time of my life, I was beginning the search for my birth son. I became pregnant at age 16 in 1974 and made the decision with my parents to give the baby up for adoption. (I haven't had any other children during the years). My family was what you could call 'old school' and I guess, swept this situation under the rug through-out the years. We didn't talk about it, and I ended up pretty much just repressing the experience. During the years, I thought a lot about him, wondering about him, how he was, what kind of person he was, what kind of family did he have, what he looked like...does he look like me?, etc, etc, etc... But even thought I thought all this, I really didn't have any intention of looking for him because I didn't want to disrupt his life. So, what prompted me to begin looking for him was that in my dreams and OOBE's I had begun hearing the voice of a young man singing to me with the lyrics that he was looking for me. I kept waking up or coming back from my night travels hearing this beautiful male voice singing songs with words and the theme of “where are you, I can't find you?” But, I didn't think that it was my son at the time. And I do receive a lot of my guidance messages in song and music. This went on for about 2 months before I thought “ok...what's going on here?”
So, in an OOBE, I asked my guide who was working with me at the time, Lila, what these messages meant. And very guide-like she gave me a cryptic answer to my question. However, in short time, I realized and understood that these messages were from my son. Needless to say, as soon as I realized what this was all about, the whole situation came to the surface after years of repression, and understandably, the emotional floodgates were broken wide open. At that point, on a deep soul and heart level, I really had no choice but to begin looking for him....I just hoped that he and his family would be receptive. (This process is really an amazing story in itself)
Anyway, I didn't know anything about his adoption, only that I gave birth to him in Oklahoma at the age of 16 or 17. (I was living in Texas at this time in 2002) and that I gave birth to a boy, (which I saw on the adoption papers) and that it was a private adoption arranged by my parents. My step-father had passed away in 1998, and even though I told my mother what I was doing, she was fine with my search, however, she couldn't remember any information that was helpful to me. After all, it had been almost 30 years, and we just didn't talk about it.
Now back to White Cloud...White Cloud came into my life during this time. (I will later remember that he actually came BACK into my life). With White Cloud's help, the story of finding my son is really nothing short of amazing.
Onto my first conscious awareness of White Cloud.
02-13-02 My reading with an Angel Reader - intro to White Cloud....
During the reading the psychic was confirming a lot of what I was getting in my dreams, oobe's and meditations about my son already, and giving me more info on his personality etc, if I would find him, etc. …..and then we talked about my guides, and she saw my guide Lila with me. She also saw a Native American male with me with full headdress, and she said that means to her that he’s an Ascended Master. She said that he is with me now to help guide me with the work we're doing in our group, along with my other aspirations involving healing and such. And she said his name is White Cloud. I remembered that another psychic recently had seen a Native American male with me, too with full headdress, and said he was a powerful Shaman. But, she couldn't get his name.
After my reading I looked up White Cloud on the net but couldn't find anything on him.
After that I noticed that there was a theme in my dreams and OOBE's of my seeing white clouds. I also noticed that my attention kept being drawn to them for some reason. I also began noticing Eagle art everywhere. I had had 2 very solid dreams of my conversations with a male who had very powerful energy, and was in the form of a White Eagle. With White Eagle was another male who had powerful energy as well, but was standing somewhat behind White Eagle, and he was in the form of a Native American Man wearing a large Headdress.
Also, during my meditations White Cloud guided me to begin paying attention to the animals that were showing up in my night time travels, and to learn their medicine. He told me that their medicine can help me in my life, and also in my search.
When I began my search for my son, I was very anxious that my son might not want to hear from me. But, White Cloud kept assuring me that it would be alright, and also that I would find my son.
I was also going thru a very intense time of my own healing process. During this time in 2002, I was beginning to spontaneously remember and clear out past life traumas. Later, in 2004, after my mother and biological father passed, I would also spontaneously begin remembering horrific current lifetime child hood abuse.
In 2002, during one of my past life memories and energy retrieval, I remembered a lifetime as a young Native American female. I felt White Cloud sitting with me during this memory and retrieval. Whenever I went thru these memories and retrievals, there was always a loving guide sitting with me to comfort me because most of the memories were very disturbing. During this memory, I saw myself washing in a river. I saw the colorful clothing and tee-pees, and felt the dirt beneath my feet. I felt the closeness of our clan/tribe/people. During this memory, I instantly recognized White Cloud as my father. I remembered that he was the Chief of our people. At first as I was remembering, I thought/felt that I felt his fatherly energy because he was the Chief and that we all looked upon him this way, as our Father, but as the lifetime began unfolding, I realized he was also my biological Father. He had a very powerful and wise energy then, and was well respected and loved. He was a warrior, but he also had a very loving and gentle energy. I then remembered that I died young in that lifetime. I was around 17 or 18 in years. It took me awhile to see the death transition because there was a lot of emotion still there. I adored my father and didn't want to leave him, so I stayed with him after my death and didn't fully cross over with this life experience/personality. My death was very hard on him, as well, and he grieved terribly for his daughter. White Cloud, however, in my current lifetime, helped me to retrieve this part of myself as this young Native American girl who adored her father with all her heart. He helped me bring her Home. It was one of my more emotional past life memory and retrievals.
Part 2 - finding my son with White Cloud's help
(To continue my story of help from White Cloud in my search for my son )
Around 2002 during my awakening and quickening period, I was receiving a lot of information through dreams, mediation and OOBE's. During my dreams and OOBE's I was continually hearing a male voice singing to me with the theme of “I'm seeking for you or I'm looking for you, etc...” It had become a pattern in my nighttime travels. At the time I was consciously traveling out of body on a regular basis. One particular night I went OOB and was met by my personal guide at the time, Lila. After I became lucid during my OOB, I asked Lila if she could tell me about the theme of my dreams lately that a male was looking for me and couldn't find me. She, of course, answered my question with another question. Isn't that the way of guides? :) What she asked me was, “did you graduate from high school?” At the time, I thought...that's a strange question, and what does it have to do with my question to her? Well, of course our guides know a lot more than us...it so happens that I didn't graduate from high school because I was pregnant and so consequently didn't attend my senior year.
I came back to my body in my bed fully awake wondering what the heck she was talking about! As I'm laying there trying to figure it out, it took a few minutes, but it finally dawned on me what her question/clue meant...that the dreams I was having were about my son! He must be looking for me! It made so much sense...and it fit perfectly. At this realization, the emotional dam I had been holding in opened up and I was a sobbing mess. During all these years our family, and especially me, had repressed the whole situation. We never talked about it...it was basically swept under the rug. I, actually had no intention of looking for the baby I gave up because I didn't want to disrupt his life. He, of course, never left my thoughts.
This was a closed adoption, and the only reason I knew that I had a baby boy was I saw the words “baby boy” on the adoption papers when I signed them. I wasn't supposed to even know that. I wasn't allowed to hold him or know anything about the people or the baby himself. It was closed and arranged by attorneys. My parents figured it was better that way. I totally understand where they were coming from at that time. Anyway, I had repressed the date he was born, the hospital where I gave birth, practically the entire memory of the experience.
So, I took this huge hint/nudge and realized that it must be time to look for him. My heart just knew without a doubt that it was what I needed to do. Not to say that the fear wasn't there about finding a negative reception or worse.
Since I didn't have much to go on except a city and approximate time frame, I went online first to scour large adoption websites that were dedicated to matching up birth parents and children. I spent about 2 months online at these websites with no luck. In the meantime, I wrote letters to all the hospitals in Tulsa, Ok (where he was born) explaining my situation... without an exact date, just a time frame. At this time I also belonged to a OOBE online community where we arranged OOB and meditational trips to different places, and then shared our experiences the next day to see if we received any hits. It was great fun and we were pretty good at it. :) We were a small close knit group so I shared the story of my son with them. Being the kind of people they were, they agreed to help with planning a few trips to see if we could get any info on my son. I received great info from these trips. The info that I personally rec'd was that he lived in Montana, (why Montana, I don't know) he was unmarried, no children, a mama's boy (I saw her doing his laundry lol!), and also had a sister who he was very close to who had young children. (I'll share a little later how close this info was to his real life.) :)
In the meantime I receive snail mail from St. Francis Hospital in Tulsa, Ok with my son's birth records in it. An Angel who worked at St. Francis hospital had read my letter and took the time to comb thru their microfiche and find my hospital records. Yahoo!....I had a birth date! Thank you! Thank you!
My next step was to place my info on some sites in Tulsa. Two days later I'm contacted by a woman who lives in Tulsa. She tells me that she had found her own birth mother and wanted to know if I would like her help in finding my son. She didn't ask for any money or anything, she just wanted to help me.
My 2nd Angel had arrived! Thank you! Thank you! She suggested that I spend about $25 to get a list of names from the Oklahoma DMV with the same birth date as my son.
I did as she suggested right away and received around a 35 page list. I immediately sent it over to her thru email.
Again, 2 days later, she called me and told me that she believes she found my son! I was floored! She told me that she printed out the list...went down the first page, turned to the 2nd page and saw a name there and called it. She said this name just felt right. And guess what?...my son answers the phone!
He was in Tulsa visiting his parents for his birthday...she called him on his birthday! And he actually lived in Montana! And he was indeed looking for his birth mother! :) All the info matched up! Thank you! Thank you!
His name is Greg. His parents had told him that he was adopted since he was old enough to understand. He's an only child, however is very close to his younger female cousin who had 2 young children. He was living in Montana with his cousin and her family at that time. In regard to his parents, I couldn't have asked for better parents and a better life for him. And his mother did indeed spoil him. :)
When I found Greg, his mother sent me the most beautiful email thanking me for giving her her angel....and tons of photos of him as a baby, etc. I admit that I was terrified about how they would receive me...but that all disappeared with reception from his family and from him.
My son, however, did have struggles because of not knowing who his birth parents were. I can only imagine what a difficult thing that must be. We met on Christmas that year in 2002...I flew to Tulsa to meet him and his family. What a wonderful family he has...not to mention what a sweet, caring man he is. We stay in touch and visit each other when we can. He's moved back Tulsa to be close to his family.
I am forever grateful to White Cloud and to all the Earth Angels and Higher Beings who helped with our re-union.
Thank you, everyone for your interest and for reading. So sorry it took me so long to post. :)
Lots of Love to you,