My precious friends and family,
Many of you have requested an update as to the situation with my children. For those of you new to my blog, my children, Benjamin and Caelin, aged five and three respectively, were abducted by my ex-husband in August 2012, and taken to Portugal without my consent or knowledge.
I had no contact with the boys until early January. I flew to Lisbon late December, in the hope to see them and also to get legal assistance. Unfortunately, I was not able to see the children as my ex-husband had moved, and again my calls and emails went unanswered. Working with a good support network of dear friends and my Portuguese lawyers, we found out that my ex-husband had applied for full custody of the children under Portuguese law, and had opened a custody petition case at the Family Court. In his case against me, my ex-husband has stated many false allegations in the hope of declaring me an unfit mother. However, as this case was already in the legal system, my lawyers were able to request visitation rights through the court, and I was able to see Benjamin and Caelin twice, for a couple of hours under court supervision before leaving in late January. It was so amazing to see the boys, and indeed, they too were very delighted to see me, although pretty confused as to where I have been and why I have not been in contact. And my eldest son Ben, asked several times to be able to come back home to South Africa. I let him know that I indeed would like it very much it he and Caelin could come back home, but that their Dad wanted them to live in Portugal, and as I wanted them in South Africa, we would have to go to court, a place that would decide where they should live. I also let them know that I loved them very, very much, and that I thought about them every day. Every night, since they were born, and when I put them to bed, I would connect to their Higher Selves of the Light, and create what I call a Heavenly Chamber of Light. Calling in their Master Guides, their Guardian Angel, the Enlightened Masters, Nature Intelligence and their Higher Light, and asking that we be taken into the Cities of Light. And I have continued this practice, and for me, this has been a most magical way to keep my connection going with the boys.
My trip was frustrating, heartbreaking and productive. Frustrating and heartbreaking to be in the same city as the boys and yet not being able to spend time with them, the primary purpose of my visit. My ex-husband is exercising rights he does not have as he has the children, and until we go to court, there is very little that can be done about this. My heartbreak was further compounded when I heard that my ex-husband and his girlfriend, who had gone to Peru in December for two weeks with their students, had taken only Caelin with them, leaving Ben behind in Portugal, with I am not sure who at this stage. Apparently, my ex-husband and his girlfriend believe Caelin to be their child (of Mayan ancestry), and as such, are showing him preferential treatment.
My case has had further complications. In South Africa, I have been working with the National Central Authorities and a legal team, and from the very beginning, it was understood here as a Hague Convention case, and the Hague application and legal information was sent to the Portuguese National Authorities as a Hague matter. Unfortunately, the National Central Authorities in Portugal did not initially recognize this as a Hague Convention case due to a “financial custody agreement” I had signed with my ex-husband in February 2012. For a couple of months my ex-husband stopped paying maintenance saying he did not have any money, and in January 2012, he came to me to say that he was able to receive assistance from the Portuguese Government for the children. However, in order to do so, he needed a signed agreement from me stating that he would look after the children financially, whether they lived in South Africa, Portugal or any other country. The wording on this agreement that we signed, was written in such a way that it seemed to indicate to the Portuguese National Central Authorities that I had given custody of the children to my ex-husband, and as such, he was exercising his rights to “have the children in Portugal”. Of course this was never my understanding in our agreement, nor would I ever give consent for the children to be taken to Portugal. In fact, my ex-husband stated very clearly that this would not affect the boys at all, and that they would continue to live with me, and that this was simply a way for him to get financial assistance and to again support the children financially.
Due to the Portuguese National Central Authorities not recognizing my case as a Hague matter, and on the advice of the National Central Authorities in South Africa, I went to the High Court in Cape Town in December with my legal team to get my case officially declared a Hague matter. This ruling in my favor came through on December 21st. It was such a huge relief. However, when I then went to the National Central Authorities in Lisbon in early January with my lawyers, the director was not able to make a decision at that time. She said that the Law of South Africa does not apply to Portugal and she would need to go through all the translated documents. I have recently heard from my Portuguese lawyers that she does recognize this as a Hague convention case, but does not have the final say, and has to present my case to the public prosecutor to make this final decision. As of this time, February 15th, I have had no news yet, and hope to hear that this is now officially a Hague matter in Portugal within the next week.
When my ex-husband first abducted my children, I went into shock for a few days, although I could sense and feel the Love of all the Beings of Light around me, letting me know that everything would be OK. I was completely heartbroken, and unsuccessful in my attempts to contact my ex-husband through Skype, email and phone calls. I also experienced a great deal of anger initially, the anger of a mother, a lioness, wanting to protect her children, and not knowing if they were safe or OK, or feeling abandoned by me, as they did not know my ex-husband very well. I moved back to South Africa from Portugal before the birth of my second son and eight months pregnant. Following this, my ex-husband would come out to South Africa about twice or three times a year, usually for about two weeks at a time. He would stay with us during his visits, but the energy changed when he started coming with his girlfriend, and November 2011 was the last time he and his girlfriend stayed with us. It was at this time that I let them know that they would need to find their own place to stay when they came out to South Africa due to the tension between us. It was also at this time that he organized Portuguese passports without my consent or knowledge.
Following the abduction of my children, I went into deep process. What I wanted to understand is how this could have happened. Why somehow was not so important. Why, at the time, seems to take me into victim and persecutor consciousness. “Why had this happened to me and the children?” did not seem the right way to understand this. So “why” became unimportant. How my relationship had gotten to such a point of non-communication that my ex-husband felt justified in abducting the boys, and cutting off all contact with me to the boys is what I needed to understand. The first thing I realized is that I had a choice as to how I could respond. I could choose to go into anger, blame, resentment and the like, and indeed, on a personality level I would be completely justified in this response; or I could look through my Master eyes and experience Love, compassion and forgiveness; and the understanding of a bigger picture that was emerging. I had to look at myself and see the role that I played in this unfolding, and what karmic patterning’s were still at play. I also understood that this was a pre-birth agreement, and that we all chose this experience for our own Spiritual growth and transformation.
Indeed, it was the realization that this was a pre-birth agreement and old karmic patterning, how something similar has occurred in a parallel reality and was being played out in another way here, and that we all chose this experience at a Higher Light level, that took me deeper into trusting and surrendering to the Divine. That all was, and is Divinely Perfect, within the seemingly imperfection of this tragic event. Then I had to look at what my energetic connection was with my ex-husband as I travelled through the Akashic records, loving and forgiving and healing past relationships. I looked too at the old energy cords I had through the victim/persecutor roles we perfected together in our relationship that said “I do not see you, I do not appreciate you, I do not love you, I do not hear you”. In the Temples of Light I cut these old energetic cords and connecting with my ex-husband at a Soul level, letting him know that I love him, and that I forgive him, as I love and forgive myself. I created new energy cords that said, “I love you, I see you, I hear you, I appreciate you”. I also embraced my inner persecutor and victim archetypes within my heart’s temple, letting them know how much I love them too. I embraced at a deeper level all my sub-personality aspects and looked at old patterning’s that I was still perpetuating. What was interesting for me is that my deepest transformation came from my pain, my perceived loss of the boys and my heartbreak. I have been so heartbroken at the perceived loss of my children, but know in my heart’s dreaming, I will get my children back. Holding onto this knowing and not going into fear, has allowed me to expand deeper into the center of Love within my Self and to receive this from you too, my precious friends and family. And I thank you all so very much for being so deeply supportive of my journey.
I have become the observer, knowing that my Beloved I Am Presence is center stage. I understand that I am divinely guided in every aspect of my Life, and that this journey for me is indeed one of incredible transformation. I have a determined outcome and yet, cannot determine the outcome, so I surrender to this process. I have become patient, knowing that I will get my children back. It is going to take time and money, but I trust every step of this process as I am guided through my heart. I know that there will be a win-win situation for all, and that this process, for me, has forever changed my relationship with my ex-husband. He has been a teacher to me in a way that I could never imagine, and he will always be an important person in my Life. I love him as a Soul level, and I am just so heartbroken that our relationship has had to play out in the way it has, and affected the boys in such an unkind manner. I email him and let him know that I love him, but what he has done is wrong and cruel and not in the best interests of the children. I hold the focus that we will be a family of Light. I know the only person that can change is my Self, and I am indeed experiencing the greatest Spiritual transformation I have had in this lifetime.
At this stage, I still have no contact with my children. My lawyers are attempting to arrange interim contact with the boys for me through the family court, and I trust this will happen soon. The way forward will be determined as to whether or not my case is recognized as a Hague matter in Portugal, and following this, we will have to go to court. When I have more news, I will let you know.
Thank you for being my support system my precious friends and family. I feel your Love, and know that I am surrounded in so much Love. I truly appreciate you all so very much.
From my Heart to Your Heart, to the Cosmic Heart of all Creation.
Blessings and much Love